1. Look at what the fuck we got in the mail this morning. Less than a month away until the dopest cookbook ever drops.

    Preorder your copy now or get left behind this fall.  

     

  2. Summer is winding down but there’s still some sweet produce left out there. Go grab some goddamn nectarines and make this pasta while you still can, before all-pumpkin-everything season starts.

    LATE SUMMER TOMATO NECTARINE PASTA 

    Serves 4

    1 pound pasta*

    ¼ cup pasta water**

     

    1 pound cherry tomatoes, sliced in half, about 3 cups

    1 tablespoon olive oil

    2 medium nectarines, chopped into bite-sized

    pieces, skin on, about 1 ½ cups

    2 cloves of garlic

    1/8 teaspoon salt

    1 tablespoon lemon juice

    1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar

    ½ cup basil sliced into thin strips 

    Cook the pasta according to the package directions or your instincts, whateverthefuck you normally do. Measure out your pasta water like we tell you below and set that shit aside. 

    While your pasta is cooking, grab a large skillet or wok and warm it up over a medium heat. Add the oil. Throw in the cherry tomatoes and cook those little fuckers until they start to shrivel up a bit, about 4-5 minutes. Add the nectarines, garlic, and salt and cook for another minute more just to warm up the nectarines. Yeah, garlic and nectarines. Calm the fuck down and just trust the method. Now turn off the heat. Add the lemon juice and balsamic vinegar, then toss in the pasta. Start mixing that shit up as you add in the pasta water.

    Fold in the basil and taste. Add more lemon juice, vinegar, basil, or salt. You know what you want to get the flavors right by you. Serve right away with some extra basil on top so it looks legit as fuck.

    If you end up with leftovers, you can also enjoy this motherfucker cold. It’s damn delicious and involves no effort.

    * Spaghetti or angel hair is best. Whole wheat is great if you roll like that.

    ** No, this isn’t some weird, fancy shit you buy at the store. Right before your pasta is done cooking, take a metal measuring cup and scoop up some of that water right in the pot and set it aside. All the starch in the water is great for filling out a light sauce so you don’t have to add a shitload of oil. You’re fucking welcome for that trick.

     

  3. Not sure if we’re allowed to do this, but fuck it. Here’s a recipe leaked straight from our new book for some Roasted Sriracha Cauliflower Bites. If you haven’t preordered the book yet, pull your shit together and get to it. If you have preordered the book already, take the rest of today off because clearly you’re ahead of the fucking game.

     

  4. There’s nothing wrong with a cold beer on a hot day but sometimes you’ve got to change shit up. Don’t let summer slip by without sipping on this refreshing son of a bitch. Plums, plucots, pluots, use whatthefuckever you can find. Any of these sweet ass stone fruits will work. Level up your libations, motherfucker. 

     

    STONE FRUIT SMASH

    makes 2 drinks

    2 plums or similar sized stone fruit

    6 sprigs fresh thyme

    4 ounces gin

    2 tablespoons lemon juice

    1-2 teaspoons agave or other liquid sweetener*

    ice

    splash of tonic or soda water**

    Cut the plums up into bite-sized pieces. Leave the skin on, don’t overthink this shit. Thrown them in a jar or large glass with a lid. Add the tiny ass branches of thyme, gin, lemon juice, sweetener, and a handful of ice to the jar and throw on the lid. Shake the ever-living fuck out of it until the ice smashes the fruit pieces and everything looks banged to hell. Strain out all the big chunks of fruit and thyme and pour the remaining drink into some glasses over ice. Everything should be all plum colored and looking fancy. You can drink this beautiful bastard as is but feel free to add a couple splashes of tonic if that’s you’re shit.

    *If your fruit is sweet enough you can just leave this shit out. Do whatever tastes right to you.

    ** Optional but add this if you like your drinks to have a little less bite.

     

  5. Starting to feel like ninety one thousand damn degrees outside? We got you. Chill the fuck out with a big ass cup of this tropical treat. All you need are five fucking ingredients and a blender. You should be able to handle that shit even if it feels like the world is melting.

    PIÑA COLADA ICE CREAM  

    Makes about 1 ½ pints, enough for 2-3 sweaty motherfuckers

    3 cups of frozen pineapple*

    1 frozen banana, broken into chunks

    1 ½ cups canned coconut milk

    1 tablespoon liquid sweetener like agave or maple syrup, whatever you got

    ½ teaspoon vanilla extract

    Throw everything in a blender and run that shit until it’s all smooth. Pour it into a loaf pan or similar shaped container and smooth it all around so it’s even. Don’t go freezing some uneven chunky bullshit and waste everybody’s time.

    Cover and place in the motherfucking freezer until it is nice and solid, at least 5 hours depending on how shitty your freezer is. You know what the fuck you should do with ice cream after that. This is best eaten the first day or two after it’s made because it can get harder to scoop the longer it sits. But no doubt you or your roommates will get after it long before then. 

    *about one 16 ounce bag

     

  6. All the fresh herbs piled in here make this a choice dish for spring. If you know how to mash and chop, then this fucker is basically already made. YOU. GOT. THIS.

    This recipe is straight out of new The VB6 Cookbook by Mark Bittman. Share this post and your name will be entered in a random drawing for a chance to win a copy of the book. Winners will be selected Friday May 9th and if your name gets picked, we’ll contact you for your mailing address. And don’t worry, we aren’t just giving away one book, we’re giving away FIVE. So why the fuck are you still reading about it? Share this deliciousness and you’re entered to win. 

    CHICKPEA TABBOULEH

    3 cups cooked chickpeas*

    2 large tomatoes, chopped

    2 ribs of celery, chopped

    1 red bell pepper, chopped

    5 radishes, chopped

    1 cup chopped fresh parsley

    1 cup chopped fresh mint

    ½ cup chopped green onions

    3 tablespoons olive oil

    3 tablespoons lemon juice

    ½ teaspoon salt

    ¼ teaspoon ground pepper

    Throw the chickpeas in a large bowl and mash those little motherfuckers up until a bunch of them break apart. Use a fork, a potato masher, your fists, whatever you got. Some beans can be left whole, don’t fucking stress about it.

    Add everything else in and toss until it’s all mixed up and coated in the dressing. Taste and add more lemon juice, salt, pepper, you know, whatthefuckever you think might be lacking. Serve it right away or chill that shit in the fridge.

    *2 15 ounce cans if that’s more your speed.