1. I’m so goddamn tired of seeing sweet potatoes being served under an inch of marshmallows and butter. EVERY. FUCKING. FALL. Don’t you realize there are vitamins in these naturally sweet sons of bitches? The beta-carotene in them alone will help keep your skin looking right and vision on point. What the fuck is the marshmallow fluff doing for you? NOT A GODDAMN THING.


    2 medium sweet potatoes, about 2 pounds

    1 medium onion, sliced

    3 cups cooked chickpeas or 2-15 ounce cans

    1 medium apple

    2 teaspoons olive oil

    2 tablespoons water or broth

    2 tablespoons lemon juice

    2 teaspoons tamari or soy sauce

    1 ½ teaspoons smoked paprika

    ¾ teaspoon dried thyme

    cayenne pepper to taste


    1 tablespoon olive oil

    2 teaspoons water

    pinch of salt

    tortillas (any kind you like, I don’t give a shit)

    Chop up the sweet potatoes into pieces about the size of a quarter. I keep the skin on them because I’m lazy as fuck but if you can’t hang, skin them sons of bitches. Place them in a steamer basket over a couple of inches of water on the stove and steam for about 15 minutes or until you can easily stab those fuckers with a fork. Turn off the heat and keep them covered.

    While the potatoes are steaming, slice the onion into strips. Warm up the 2 teaspoons of oil in a large skillet or wok over a medium-low heat and add the onions. Cook them until they start to brown, about 8 minutes. Mix together the water, lemon juice, and tamari in a small glass. Add the chickpeas to the onions, mix well, and then add that small glass of liquid you just fucking made. Cook for a minute or two until most of the liquid as evaporated. Add the herbs and spices and cook that shit for another minute. Turn off the heat.

    Put the steamed sweet potatoes in a large bowl and add the remaining oil, water, and salt. Gently mash. I usually keep it chunky because well, again, I’m lazy as fuck. So when you are done with the sweet potatoes, cut up the apple into little sticks. You can squeeze a little lemon juice on those bastards so they don’t brown. Now you are ready to wrap all that shit up. Smear some of the sweet potatoes on the tortilla, add the cooked chickpeas and onions, spinach or whatever greens you got, and some of the chopped up apple. Trust me on this shit. The apple adds a delicious fucking crunch. You could even add hummus to this motherfucker if you wanted. There are no rules in the wrap game. Wrap it up and enjoy. Don’t have tortillas for a wrap? You could throw all of this in a bowl with some rice or quinoa and go to town. Use what you got.

    Makes 4 big wraps

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    Holy Sweet Freaking Lord Jesus Cod In The Sky, the days when I eat these are GOOD FREAKING DAYS. (I replace apples with...
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