1. WHO WANTS SOME GODDAMN DESSERT? Frozen bananas are legit treats that can make you feel like you’re at the boardwalk even if you’re just standing in front of an oscillating fan in your apartment. USE YOUR IMAGINATION MOTHERFUCKER. Make some of these with the kids, they love that shit. Whether you let them read my recipe or not, that’s on you.



    8 popsicle sticks

    4 bananas

    1 cup of semisweet chocolate chips

    1 teaspoon of coconut oil (optional)

    ½ cup of roasted nuts (I used peanuts but use whateverthefuck you like)

    Line a baking sheet or a big ass plate with wax paper or parchment. Peel the bananas and cut them in half widthwise. Stick the popsicle stick up the banana from the flat cut side. Just make sure you don’t poke a fucking hole through the other side of the banana.  Put them all on the baking sheet and let them hang out for a minute. Chop up the nuts all small and put them in a bowl.

    So you can melt the chocolate by either slowly heating that shit in the microwave in 25 second increments and stirring in between until it is melted. OR you can do how I do and build a double boiler like a fucking boss. Grab a medium saucepan and fill that bastard with an inch or 2 of water. Throw an all metal bowl on top of that and make sure the whole mouth of the pan is covered and that the water inside isn’t touching the bottom of the bowl. Put this over a medium-low heat and put the chocolate chips in the bowl. The steam will melt those fuckers, just keep stirring the chocolate. When the chocolate looks all smooth turn off the heat. This should whole process should take about 3 minutes.

    Grab a banana and gently dip it into the chocolate and spoon the chocolate over to cover any holes. If your having trouble doing it, stir in the oil while the chocolate is still hot and it will loosen that bitch up. Drip off the excess chocolate and sprinkle it with a small handful of the nuts (or coconut flakes, sprinkles, whatthefuckever). Put it down on the baking sheet and repeat with the rest of the bananas. Freeze the pops on the tray for at least 3 hours before serving.

    Makes 8 badass banana pops

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