1. Clear room on the grill for these stuffed sons of bitches. They pack a lot more flavor and nutrition than some lazy, played-out veggie kebabs. And no, you don’t eat the stem; you throw it at whoeverthefuck brought veggie kebabs.



    1 ½ cups brown basmati or other long grain brown rice

    1 large tomato

    1 large carrot

    1 zucchini

    ½ large onion, yellow or white

    1 tablespoon of olive oil

    2 ¼ teaspoons dried oregano

    1 teaspoon dried thyme

    1 teaspoon smoked paprika (if the store doesn’t have this then just leave it out. It’s not a fucking deal breaker)

    2 cups water

    1 tablespoon sherry vinegar (red wine vinegar would work too)

    3-4 cloves of garlic

    Juice of 1 lemon

    Salt and pepper to taste



    1 ½ cups white beans or 1- 15 ounce can (You can use navy, cannellini, whatever kind of creamy bean you got)

    2 tablespoons of chopped onion

    2 tablespoons sherry vinegar (or whatever vinegar you’ve already used)

    1 tablespoon olive oil

    ¼ teaspoon oregano dried


    4 large bell peppers

    Fresh basil (optional)


    Put the rice in a strainer and rinse that shit. Throw the tomato in a food processor and puree it into juice. You should get about a cup. You could also just use tomato juice here if you have that at your place already. Chop up the onion, carrot, and zucchini into pieces about the size of a dime. Take 2 tablespoons of the chopped onion and put it aside. You will use that shit in a minute. In a big pot heat the olive oil up over a medium heat. Add the big portion of onion and let it cook until it starts brown, like 5 minutes. Add the carrot, zucchini, oregano, thyme, and paprika. Cook for about 1 minute. Add the rice, pureed tomato, and water. Throw in a pinch of salt and bring it all to a boil. Once it is boiling, cover the pot, and reduce the heat to low so that shit simmers. Let it go for like 30-40 minutes or until the water is absorbed and the rice is cooked all the way.

    While the rice cooks throw the beans, 2 tablespoons of onion from earlier, olive oil, vinegar, and oregano in the dirty food processor and run it until everything looks smooth. It’s cool if there still are some tomato bits in there. Add a little pepper and stir that shit in. When the rice is done, add the garlic, sherry vinegar, and lemon juice to it. Cover and let that sit for a goddamn minute. Taste the rice and add salt, pepper, or more seasoning until that shit tastes good enough to meet your standards.

    Chop the bell peppers in half lengthwise and scrape out all the seeds. They aren’t hot and taste bitter so throw them the fuck away. Add a couple spoonfuls of the bean mixture inside each pepper and spread that shit around. Add spoonfuls of the rice until it is all nice and packed in. I got about half a cup of rice in each one of mine.

    Heat up your grill to a medium-low heat. Spray it down with a little oil so that the peppers don’t stick. Spray the tops of each pepper lightly with oil too so those fuckers don’t dry out. Grill the stuffed peppers for about 10-12 minutes. You want the peppers to start to soften and get some good looking grill marks on them. Top with fresh basil and serve warm.

    Makes 8 stuffed peppers

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