1. You know how you lied and said that you’d actually bring something to the party this time? FUCKING DO IT. Did someone else bring a pasta salad? Throw that shit away because it doesn’t even hold a candle to what you just brought to the table.  That zesty Italian dressing shit is played out.

    FRESH CORN AND HERB PASTA SALAD

    ½ cup of each herb: chopped green onions, cilantro, dill, and parsley (feel free to swap these around for whatever you’ve got. Shit, toss basil in the mix and it would be just as awesome)

    4-5 cloves of garlic all chopped up (I fucking love garlic so adjust according to your tastes)

    6 tablespoons sherry vinegar (red wine vinegar or even rice vinegar could work here if that’s what you got)

    4 tablespoons olive oil

    ½ teaspoon lemon zest (calm the fuck down, just grate the skin of the lemon on the smallest side of your grater)

    ¼ teaspoon salt

    1 pound of pasta (whole wheat, quinoa, brown rice, whatever you like)

    1 crown of broccoli

    3 medium-sized tomatoes

    2 ears of raw corn

    pepper to taste

    Throw all the herbs, garlic, vinegar, oil, lemon zest, and salt in a food processor and blend until it is all chopped up and looks like a sauce. Don’t fucking give up if you don’t own a food processor. Just chop up all that shit extra tiny and mix it together in a glass. Done.

    Cook the pasta according to the directions on the package. Simple shit. While the pasta cooks, cut up the broccoli into bite-sized pieces. You should get around 3-4 cups. In the last 2 minutes of boiling the pasta, throw the broccoli in there. No need to cook those sons of bitches separately. After 1-2 minutes drain the pot, then run cold water over all of it to cool that shit down and keep the broccoli looking bright green. The broccoli should be cooked but still a little crisp.

    Cut the raw corn off the cob and chop up the tomatoes into pieces about the size of a dime. Mix together the pasta, corn, tomatoes, and herb sauce in a big ass bowl. Add as much pepper as you like. Try that shit and see if you need more vinegar, salt, or oil. Your tastes are on you. You can serve this at room temperature but I like to chill the motherfucker in the fridge for a couple hours.

    Serves 4-6 people unless some greedy asshole camps out by the table

     

     
  1. followmymoment likes this
  2. herecomesbirdie likes this
  3. katarinanl likes this
  4. icebergbb88 likes this
  5. zeds-privates likes this
  6. draljian likes this
  7. tiffmaya22 likes this
  8. wanna-be-chef reblogged this from thugkitchen
  9. sarahsusefulstuffs reblogged this from myheart-istheworstkindofweapon
  10. calculate-and-calibrate reblogged this from thugkitchen
  11. pengybabblebutt likes this
  12. bertmacklinfbi9 likes this
  13. veggie-gone-rogue likes this
  14. russianpersuasion reblogged this from thugkitchen
  15. russianpersuasion likes this
  16. cattlehellyeah likes this
  17. saiwatt likes this
  18. candie-junkie likes this
  19. goldrosey likes this
  20. questionmarksonmywrist likes this
  21. tsunamichick89 likes this
  22. domina-lupus likes this
  23. kickass1982 likes this
  24. leisile likes this
  25. cookiecocaine likes this
  26. songofmyseoul likes this
  27. aheadlongdive likes this
  28. thelandrover reblogged this from thugkitchen
  29. move-in-passion likes this
  30. vehemenace likes this
  31. onceuponatimeitwasperfect likes this
  32. zairerock-lacy likes this
  33. lotusdviolet likes this
  34. fourdollarbill likes this
  35. missesaw reblogged this from thugkitchen
  36. thewinters-discontent likes this
  37. kellimykelli likes this
  38. onedimpledwonder likes this
  39. whiskeywatz likes this
  40. littleofthislotofthat likes this
  41. finegalacticdonut likes this
  42. ilbh reblogged this from thugkitchen and added:
    These directions though 👍😂
  43. avenginggirlscout likes this
  44. hernandawg likes this
  45. imnotcoolenoughtobeatthisparty likes this
  46. spinozajr likes this
  47. onceuponasimblr likes this
  48. beweaveitsalonandbeautysupply likes this
  49. beweaveitsalonandbeautysupply reblogged this from thugkitchen
  50. jennydear218 reblogged this from thugkitchen and added:
    I cannot complete this recipe because I keep laughing my ass off.