1. WHO THE FUCK DOESN’T LOVE A GOOD SANDWICH?! Well this here is a damn fine sandwich that I guarantee your taste buds would high five you if they could. I mean I’m no scientist, maybe they can high five. What the fuck do I know? SANDWICHES. That’s what I fucking know.


    8 ounces of tempeh

    1 teaspoon olive oil


    ½ cup vegetable broth or water

    ¼ cup sherry vinegar (chill out, that shit isn’t expensive but you can use apple cider vinegar if you already have that at home)

    3 tablespoons tamari or soy sauce

    2 tablespoons of your favorite smoky hot sauce (something with chipotle pepper is fucking delicious)

    1 tablespoon lemon juice

    3 cloves of garlic

    a couple shakes of black pepper

    Cut of the garlic into small pieces. In a large glass mix together all the marinade ingredients. Cut the tempeh width-wise into about 1/3-1/2 inch pieces. You should end up with about 16 finger-sized pieces. Put the tempeh in a shallow container like a pie pan or some tupperware, I don’t know what kind of shit you have in your kitchen. Pour the marinade over and let the tempeh soak in that shit for about 30 minutes. It can marinate for up to an hour but if you let it go too long it can taste really fucking salty so keep your eye on the clock.

    Once the tempeh has marinated for long enough heat up the oil over a medium heat in a large skillet or wok. Keep the marinade. Lay the tempeh down in one layer and cook that shit until it starts to brown, about 4-6 minutes on each side. When it starts to look a little dry in there or the tempeh feels like it might be sticking just add a couple spoonfuls of the marinade. See, aren’t you fucking glad you didn’t throw that shit away?

    Once the tempeh is browned on both sides then you are ready to make a badass sandwich. I like mine with sundried tomato spread, lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers (crunchy as a motherfucker) and fresh basil but you add whateverthefuck you have laying around. Fuck it, use a tortilla and make it a wrap.  


    Enough for 4 sandwiches

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    slicingavocados this one looks yummy and easy.
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