1. FUCK PUTTING A TEALIGHT IN A PUMPKIN. I’M BATMAN, BITCH. Want a bomb ass jack-o-lantern like this shit?

    • Get yourself a fucking pumpkin. The bigger, the better.
    • Carve it up any way you goddamn well please. If you want, set aside the pumpkin seeds to roast them later. They’re tasty as hell and makes your house smell like a fucking Yankee Candle. Just make sure when you carve the lid that the opening is large enough to fit a roll of toilet paper.
    • When you’re done carving your shit, soak an entire roll of toilet paper in kerosene (or lighter fluid). I recommend placing the roll of TP in a bucket outside in the shade with plenty of ventilation (remember, this shit is combustible). Pour about  1½ - 2 cups of kerosene over the TP. Any excess fluid that pools at the bottom will absorb within ten minutes or so.

    • When the sun goes down, place the soaked TP roll inside the pumpkin and torch that fucker. The TP will burn slow and flames can get up to 4 feet high. Leave the lid off the pumpkin for fuck’s sake. 

    DON’T BE A FUCKING DUMBASS. If you’re stupid enough to try this shit without taking proper safety precautions, then I hope you catch fire too. Some safety tips:

    • Before you light the pumpkin, hose the surrounding area with water.
    • Once lit, keep a safe distance of 10 feet or so. BACK THE FUCK UP, it’s not a campfire. 
    • When everyone is done instagramming this shit and you’re ready to extinguish the fire, use sand or dirt. You can keep a hose or bucket of water nearby but spraying a flaming pumpkin with water could splash kerosene out of the pumpkin and then you got some serious fucking problems that involve your local fire department.
    • Remember, a safe thug is a happy thug.
     
  1. doomkittytheartist likes this
  2. itwouldallbegray reblogged this from thugkitchen
  3. aphroditzy likes this
  4. oh-oh-over-the-ocean reblogged this from thugkitchen
  5. drdanielzenus likes this
  6. thehk2 likes this
  7. yourphilosophyworld likes this
  8. selfguided likes this
  9. meikan likes this
  10. mizukitsune10 reblogged this from thugkitchen
  11. thecatchfence reblogged this from thugkitchen
  12. thecatchfence likes this
  13. donthitmemommy likes this
  14. danigirr likes this
  15. consulting-companions likes this
  16. weredinosoarin likes this
  17. sparkplugiv likes this
  18. kikivondeetah likes this
  19. lovemorefiercely likes this
  20. nickeydanceswiththemoon reblogged this from thugkitchen
  21. kalli27 reblogged this from thugkitchen
  22. kalli27 likes this
  23. illplaysupport reblogged this from fairyfoolishness
  24. ashed-potatoes likes this
  25. dhanberry reblogged this from thugkitchen and added:
    I’m ready for next All Hallow’s now.
  26. riabas likes this
  27. ticklesme1284 reblogged this from thugkitchen
  28. myasgardianprince reblogged this from thugkitchen and added:
    HELL YEAH. NEXT year. Just wait…
  29. myasgardianprince likes this
  30. redcipter likes this
  31. tahllytahlly reblogged this from zaydee-kaine
  32. tahllytahlly likes this
  33. acratic likes this
  34. jennierenn reblogged this from break-it-burn-it
  35. flying-wolf-angel reblogged this from timaeusbonerfied
  36. timaeusbonerfied reblogged this from break-it-burn-it
  37. break-it-burn-it reblogged this from thugkitchen
  38. stalkermom4 likes this
  39. eromonyas likes this
  40. fendrick likes this
  41. normaeatsapples reblogged this from thugkitchen
  42. colon-roblesiii likes this
  43. thehollowingstone likes this
  44. thatlowvice likes this
  45. princessladyelizabethmiddleford likes this
  46. vampirekitty23 reblogged this from the-chainsaw-goddess
  47. vampirekitty23 likes this
  48. infinity-runner reblogged this from the-chainsaw-goddess
  49. the-chainsaw-goddess reblogged this from thugkitchen
  50. the-chainsaw-goddess likes this